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I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

~ Ellen Degeneres ~
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I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.

~ Ellen Degeneres ~
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I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

~ Ellen Degeneres ~
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In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

~ Ellen Degeneres ~
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People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

~ Ellen Degeneres ~
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The sixties were when hallucinogentic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.

~ Ellen Degeneres ~
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