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A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

~ Doug Larson ~
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A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

~ Doug Larson ~
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A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

~ Doug Larson ~
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A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

~ Doug Larson ~
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For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

~ Doug Larson ~
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If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

~ Doug Larson ~
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If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

~ Doug Larson ~
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If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

~ Doug Larson ~
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More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

~ Doug Larson ~
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The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

~ Doug Larson ~
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The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

~ Doug Larson ~
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The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

~ Doug Larson ~
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The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.

~ Doug Larson ~
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The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice.

~ Doug Larson ~
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The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

~ Doug Larson ~
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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

~ Doug Larson ~
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The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

~ Doug Larson ~
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There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

~ Doug Larson ~
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There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

~ Doug Larson ~
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Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

~ Doug Larson ~
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