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Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't vie CBS an idea for another reality show.

~ Bill Maher ~
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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

~ Bill Maher ~
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George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.

~ Bill Maher ~
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I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're not married and having children, it's like your life is empty or you're a communist meanie.

~ Bill Maher ~
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I mean, I think, Iraqis, I think, feel that if we drove smaller cars, maybe we wouldn't have to kill them for their oil.

~ Bill Maher ~
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Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'

~ Bill Maher ~
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It's all been satirized for your protection.

~ Bill Maher ~
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Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

~ Bill Maher ~
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Men are only as loyal as their options.

~ Bill Maher ~
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President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.

~ Bill Maher ~
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The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

~ Bill Maher ~
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The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain.

~ Bill Maher ~
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Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

~ Bill Maher ~
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This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

~ Bill Maher ~
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

~ Bill Maher ~
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

~ Bill Maher ~
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