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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Too clever is dumb.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.

~ Ogden Nash ~
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