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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a rat.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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We are all in this together, by ourselves.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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We're all in this alone.

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

~ Lily Tomlin ~
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