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Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon.

~ Andy Van Slyke ~
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I have an Alka Seltzer bat. You know, plop plop fizz fizz. When the pitcher sees me walking up there they say, 'Oh what a relief it is.'

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It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game.

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Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn't bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro.

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